I am sorry. I did not mean to disappear for two weeks at the very beginning of the year, but sometimes life conspires against you.
On Tuesday January 10th, I got braces! And although I occasionally feel like a big ball of adult awkward, I'm glad I did it. I could have taken the short and easy route and had oral surgery, but I wanted the best function possible (I plan on chewing crusty pieces of bread till death do us part), so I sucked it up and chose braces. It's funny, but after plunking down a huge check and choosing the healthier and more uncomfortable option, this thing that you typically go through as a teenager has made me feel even more like an adult. All this grown-up-ness didn't stop me from composing a hard rock theme song for myself called "Metal Mouth" however. Adulthood, it comes in fits and starts.
To my horror, right after I got the braces I was presented with a huge list of foods I'm not allowed to have for the next year and change. I expected that I wasn't going to be allowed to gnaw on jaw breakers and taffy, but the list contained some of my favorites. NO granola. Frown. NO nuts. Whimper. NO hard, crusty bread. Sob! Luckily, I am already devising ways around these prohibitions so they won't be handicapping my recipes.
After exactly 4 days of braces, the initial discomfort had gone and after a few public outings I was reassured that people weren't going to point at me like I was some sort of mutant. (I'm a little paranoid considering the visible brackets are tooth colored and barely noticeable.) Anyhow, I was feeling more normal and then I got horribly and violently ill. For a few days, I pretty much lived on crackers. I did not want to see the kitchen. My sense of smell went into hyperdrive and I couldn't tolerate my husband chopping onions across the apartment. My dogs got worried and moped around the bed. I didn't drink coffee for a week. I lost 5 pounds in 5 days. That is not a brag. It just shows how sad the state of affairs are if I am not eating. I will always choose treadmill punishment over not eating.
After the fog of illness cleared, I emerged with an epic craving for citrus. Maybe it was for the vitamins. Maybe it's my Florida blood. Maybe I just have a crazy sick person brain. In any case, I drank a ton of orange juice and cast my eyes upon the Meyer lemons that had been sitting in my kitchen for a week. They were like a ray of sweet tart sunshine. Have you ever had a Meyer lemon? They only grow well in hardiness zones 8 and lower (read California and Florida). They're smaller, juicier, more aromatic, and sweeter than regular lemons. They have the same magical sweet tart properties as key limes. They are pure bliss when made into lemon curd. And that is what I have been living on for the past few days: cream scones with disproportionate amounts of Meyer lemon curd.
Recipe coming soon.